Love style

Research has conclusively proved that love comes in several different forms that can be further categorized. These few styles may be a blend of two or three styles!

Love! Ah, what does one say - it's like a cool breeze on a hot, muggy summer night, a magical droplet from the sky, a warm kiss from a lover, a hug from a buddy. Although, the experience may be very divergent, what's certain is that love means different things to different people.

Hues of love:

How do I get this done love: Some people experience love as a game to be played with other people's emotions. The desire is to gain control over a partner through clever calculation. People who experience this kind of love have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for these people as it is part of the game. For people who experience such love, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploit his or her weak spots.

Madly, deeply, irrevocably in love: Some people experience love with a lot of passion, intimacy and intensity. Here the love has a strong sexual and emotional component. People who experience love this way want to be emotionally and physically close to their romantic partners and tend to idealize love. Such love is marked by passion as well as compassion (kindness and consideration). This kind of love is best viewed as romantic, passionate love - the type that creates excitement at the beginning of a new relationship.

Obsessed, possessed love: For some people, love is being out of control! It turns one's life upside down and results in a complete loss of one's identity. People who experience this kind of love fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them, and is likely to burnout even before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, rash decisions and vulnerability.

Steady slow love: Some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is like this, getting to know a potential partner comes before having intense feelings for that person. Falling in love requires genuine liking and understanding and it develops slowly over time. It is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experience this kind of love often fall in love with their friends.

Nurturing love: For some people, love is taking care of a person. It is the overwhelming desire to look after a partner like one would after a child or a parent. Such love is attentive, caring, compassionate and kind - an altruistic type of love.

Logical love: However oxymoronic it may sound, but there are some people who take a practical approach to love. It is a clear-cut way of thinking based on common sense and reason. People who experience this kind of love tend to pick a 'suitable' mate after much deliberation and thinking. Practical concerns underlie this type of love. source:The Times of India

First Night Sex

The first time you have sex, it's not all smooth sailing. In fact, many fears are attached to it. Dr Mahinder Watsa tells you what to expect (and what not to expect) the first time you get intimate with someone.

There'll be many a slip
Everybody wants their first time to be perfect. Some even envision it to be some kind of fairytale moment. Nothing wrong with that, but one should know that there could be slip-ups, all the same. The man often wishes intercourse to last longer, but if he achieves orgasm early (presumably due to a rush of excitement), it is okay! Some may even fail to achieve an erection and in that moment of disappointment, label themselves as not being 'up to the mark'. If that is what you think, it is a big mistake. You can always end the session with ample foreplay. If things don't go as planned in the very first time, there's always a second time. If a man can achieve an erection during masturbation, he is normal. So just relax and go with the flow.

Yes, it hurts, but wait
For women, the first time can be a little painful, but hang on. It's not the pain that they must dread. In most cases, the pain is almost like that of finger prick. However, it's the fear of pain that makes things worse. The hype surrounding the pain often induces fear in women, resulting in spasms at the slightest touch. This is where it is important for the partner to step in. Firstly, ensure she feels comfortable with you. Ample foreplay is a must to get the vagina lubricated. Start with inserting a finger to rupture the hymen,
and then slowly, proceed towards intercourse. The key is to take it slow.

Bleeding? Maybe. Maybe not
That a woman must bleed during her first intercourse is undoubtedly the most misguided notion people harbour. The bleeding occurs when the hymen splits. However, why is it so difficult to understand that the same hymen which is considered a mark of virginity by many men can also split due to other reasons? Rigorous exercises such as cycling can split the hymen. In some cases, it may even be congenitally absent. The hymen can also rupture, when women masturbate. Bleeding, or no bleeding, the fact that you are close enough to your partner to get sexually intimate demands you also put a certain level of trust in her. Doubts, if any, should be cleared right in the beginning, and not in the bed.

Contraception can fail
One wrong move is enough to invite unwanted pregnancy. Don't rely on withdrawal method or the safe days of the woman's menstrual cycle. Unmarried couples must use condoms. If marriage is around the corner, the woman can visit her gynaecologist a month before the wedding. The doctor will put her on oral contraceptives, safe enough to see the couple through the honeymoon phase. Later, the couple can consult the gynaecologist and select the contraceptive method that suits them the best.

It will get messy
When body fluids are exchanged, it can get quite messy. But there are no two ways about it. Either you do it, or you don't. So don't fret too much about unwanted stains and keep an extra sheet handy. Source:The times of India

Living with a sex-addict?

When Simran started dating Rohit, she found him to be an aggressive, but a fun-to-be with lover who did everything to rock her sex life in bed. But

Is she addicted to sex? (Getty Images)

by the time they ought to speculate marriage, she realised that he wasn't a normal man with normal sexual desires.

Rather, he was a sex-addict, whose wild sex etiquettes and voracious hunger for physical intimacy was having a negative impact on their life together. Failing to cope up with his overtly insatiable sex drive, known to the world as 'Satyriasis' or 'Don Juanism', Simran had no option but to part ways with her beau.

Even for males, there's a chance that you maybe hooked to a 'nymphomaniac', who appears as - 'a loving girl for you' in the beginning. But by the time her 'sex-kitten' avatar comes to the fore it's already too late to pull up your socks. Dr. Sameer Parikh, a psychologist, defines sex addiction as a situation, "When having sex is seen as one's sole priority, leading to a neglect of the other important facets of life (e.g., working, socializing, and sleeping), an addiction or compulsion to sex. Sexual addiction and compulsivity include, any sexual behaviour which is "had" or done in an obsessive, uncontrollable, and/or irrational way that becomes self-destructive. People with this diagnosis feel, and indeed may have, little or no control over sex, and are required to go through psychological therapies and medication in some cases."

So, before you get into involved with a sex maniac, here are a few cues to help you know if you are clinging onto a sex addict or a nymphomaniac. However, remember that these are just cues and not a yardstick to make or mar your relationship.

He's a sex-addict if ...
1. Normal lovemaking session? Not for him!
He usually complains about the lack of variety in his sex life with you. Normal love making sessions never satisfy him as he demands hard core porn-star type moves and grinds. He finds bliss in numbers, be it the number of abnormal sex-positions or the number of times he wants to climax in a single night...all hinting towards his out-of-control sexual problem.

2. He's leading a double life
Do you doubt he's having a liaison with someone else only to seek sexual gratification? Do you feel cheated in his company? Does he hide his 'self-help' acts from you, only because he is going overboard with them? And despite repeatedly telling him, he simply can't control his sexual urges.

3. He constantly digs into sexual stuff
No, we are not talking about men who take pleasure in watching occasional porn or reading sex write-ups and looking at photographs, but a man who is pre-occupied with X-rated stuff even at times and places where it's strictly avoidable. It's only X-rated movies that he is interested in most of the times. If his browser history reveals out and out porn sites in chronological order and his mail box is filled with invitations from adult dating sites ...you have all the reasons to watch out for.

4. Sex on his mind!
In his diehard pursuit of sex or romantic relationships, he is neglecting his social, professional and spiritual responsibilities and development. Even the extreme fear of being inflicted by STDs is no hurdle in his sexual escapades...then you should know he's an addict.

5. He's a runaway guy!
Does he usually try to get away from you after having sex? When he desires, he wants a roller-coaster session but soon after it's over, he's filled with guilt of getting physically close to you. This sense of withdrawal is due to his awareness about the compulsive craving for sex which he fails to curb.

6. Legal troubles? Who cares!
You caught him talking over the phone in an indecent (sexually explicit) manner with someone. You get to know of some legal allegations against him for anything - ranging from having a romp at an illegal place or with someone like a prostitute or a minor. You might even find him engaging in offensive activities like voyeurism or exhibitionism. If even the prospects of getting into legal trouble fail to stop him from exercising his sexual prowess, you should be aware that you are living with an addict!

7. He's getting cynical by the day
Together with the above mentioned clues, if you find your guy living with intense negative feelings of guilt, shamefulness and remorse, the extent of being suicidal, it's only because he can't stop himself from doing what he knows is wrong not just for him but also for his loved ones.

She's a nymphomaniac if...

Is she addicted to sex? (Getty Images)

1. She's a spotlight hog
Nymphomaniac women need attention from more than just one person. She can go to any extent to be a man-magnet. So, beware if your partner is all over your friend, colleague, boss or any new male for that matter.

2. The world is sex-starved to her
That's the notion she lives in. To a Nympho, no one is oversexed, only undersexed! And she is the only one on planet Earth to satiate the sexual hunger of every sex-starved soul.

3. She's always in a relationship
Her past reveals one continuous series of relationships, overloaded with sexcapades. And the reason why she's never single is that she can't stand being alone.

Moreover, each one of her former boyfriends is stark opposite from one another, hinting towards the fact that she's not looking for that certain someone special, but for that certain anyone.

4. Sex, sex every where
No matter what you say to her, she will only decipher a sexual meaning or connotation from it to satiate her urges. She'll attach every thread of conversation with eroticism finally leading to sex.

Even your passive behaviour is no resistance to her over-charged self pouncing upon you.

5. Sex is a drug
Yes, to all her ailments, anxieties and problems the only medicine that works best is - sex. She just can't get over it. Knowingly most of the times, she fails to get over that compulsive compelling to get you into bed.

6. Too much, too soon
That's her expectation from the relationship and when we say this, we mean only her physical demands. While a normal girl is still happy with kissing and cuddling, she is already burning with a burning desire to be in bed with you...with her ruling the roost, of course!

7. Deny her and see!
Every man goes through certain 'low-drive' days, when he just fails to reciprocate his gal's passion and makes lame excuses for the next time.

But dare to deny a nympho and she'll touch the extremes of behavioural patterns, including a severe spat, depression and an acute sense of withdrawal from everything around her. Extreme suicidal tendencies will get more severe.

Expert advice:
"It is impossible for sex-addict themselves to realise the need of treatment for his state of being. In such a scenario, it is the prerogative of the other half to deal with patience and convince him/her to meet an expert for advice. Lack of treatment can not only expose the addicts to acute embarrassment, but also land them in legal troubles and wrong relations, especially in the case of women," explains physiatrist, Dr. Aruna Broota.
Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

How to de-stress your sex-life

Do you feel that stress is squeezing the fun out of your bedroom life?

How to make your life stress-free (Getty Images)

If yes, then you can bring back the action, courtesy tips provided by sex educator and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright. According to the expert, many couples become frustrated, even panicky, when their sex lives go to the wayside during stressful times. When it comes to the factor that governs a person's sex life, it's personality, reports Fox News.

Fulbright says that how an individual's sex life fares depends on whether he tries to get closer to his partner in tragic times or wants to be totally alone and if he's the withdrawing sorts, then it can create misunderstandings in the relationship.

In order to avoid any such misunderstandings and still keep sex life full of fun and passion, Fulbright has suggested that couples need to establish a common ground and mutual understanding during stressful times.

Also, they should make an effort to stay connected during life's highs and lows, because if they don't, it could lead to dire consequences. And in case, sex is not on mind and also the time to be spent in the sack is less, then a person can try the following:

1. Showing appreciation for one another. Giving compliments, for example, is a simple way of expressing affection and letting your partner know that he or she is still being noticed and loved.

2. Talking daily. Chat during dinner or at bedtime. Conversations foster bonding by providing support. It's also important for couples to check in with each other, showing concern and care for one another's well-being with simple statements like, "Tell me about your day."

3. Staying positive . Bite your tongue if you're about to complain. Stressful situations are hard enough to deal with. Don't add to it if you can avoid doing so.

4. Believing in your future together. Stressful times can make lovers doubt their ability to stay together for the long haul. Insecurity issues that arise can only make matters more difficult. Making plans is one way to indicate that you're feeling secure about your future.

5. Helping each other with responsibilities . Approaching tasks with a team effort provides a greater sense of being in 'this' together.

6. Balancing 'alone time' and 'together time.' Create a sensual atmosphere, for example, soothing scents, dim lights, delicious food, and relaxing music to help you unwind.

7. Getting creative in how you'll be intimate . Redefine your definition of sexual intimacy when needed; try a simple body massage.

Not to forget, lovers should make it a point to give in to one another's requests for intimacy whenever possible, as it might just prove to be a big stress-buster. In fact, sex has many physical and emotional benefits, which may help in boosting your desire for more sex and emotional intimacy. Sex can easily take your mind off of your worries.

Also, patience is the key to get your sex life back on track. One should make sure that your relationship, in general, doesn't get neglected. Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

Top ten sex romps

Are you always complaining that your sex life is running out of steam? Well, what's stopping you from getting adventurous and innovative? Charge up your sex life using this list of the 10 craziest places to fool around...or you could get inspired and think of a few of your own!

1. On the couch: After the bed, the couch in the living room is screaming for attention. And the best part...it's comfy too. The cushions work as a support system to get those curves and arches to enjoy the perfect moves, while the lack of space will keep up the intimacy levels. Want some more action? Put on a wild flick on video and you have a perfect mood maker!
Word of caution: Watch out your moves, going out of control is injurious...for the couch of course!

2. In the bathtub: Things can get real hot even in a cool bath tub. For the ultimate romantic experience, arrange for a bubble bath with aromatic rose petals and passion perfume. Add some mood lighting, splash a few drops of 'ylang ylang' essential oil and be certain that the sensuous experiment will lead to some supah hot sex.
Word of caution: Check out the water temperature, you don't want to end up with painful blisters or a frozen lover...isn't?

3. In the kitchen: Be it 91/2 Weeks or Fatal Attraction , the kitchen has borne witness to quite a number of sexapades. The sturdy surfaces and shelves offer great support, especially for stand-up acts, while the feeling of being at an unconventional place pumps up the excitement to newer heights. And how can you miss the yummy treats your kitchen is loaded with? Eat them, but off each other's hot bods. Think chocolate, cream, jams and jellies!
Word of caution: Know the stuff you are eating and applying...some edibles are good only to eat. So watch out for allergies!

4. In the pool: Though not many are privileged to have one in the confines of their home, if you are one of the lucky few, make the most of it. Challenge your swimming skills and get under for into some underwater escapades. Who said that the inflatable water turtle is meant only for tanning, use it for some steamy adventure...ride it together and get a new high!
Word of caution: You need not be swimming champs, but fairly decent floating skills are definitely expected to get into the water-y fun.

5. In the car: Yes it's crammed, but it's cosy too. A quickie in the backseat can rekindle the excitement that you felt during your heady college days. Put on some romantic retro tracks and switch on the AC. Don't fret, it won't cool down the passion. When the place is different, the position can't be a drab. It's tough to adjust facing each other, but turning the world around can definitely help...hope you got the clue!
Word of caution: Just be careful where you park...you don't want to get busted!

6. In the dressing room: How about catching her unawares in the dressing room of a store? Sounds dangerous but thrilling too! The fear of getting caught will only add to the sensual experience, while the lack of time is perfect to give you a never before quickie. Thinking comfort? Sorry! All you have is a stool...let him stand as you take charge!
Word of caution: Making noise is not allowed here and do take care of hidden cameras and key-holes.

7. The stairs: If you are thinking they can be a pain to one's body, think again, as they can be adventurous too. After all, they can give you those highs and lows, especially when the girl is comparatively short.
Word of caution: Don't get really aggressive if getting cramps in your lower back is not on your mind.

8. On the roof : Yes, this can be a great playground; the gentle moonlight, a cool breeze to caress your passionate entwinings. Pep it up with some paper lamps or scented candles and light music, which will just add to the mood. You have all the space to set the ball rolling...so go ahead and explore her contours under a starry sky.
Word of caution: No physical risks are involved...but just take care of peeping Toms around.

9. In a sleeping bag: Nothing could bring you as close as that sleeping bag that's meant for a single person and is loaded with two! Why not get into some naughty action and add to a fun-filled camping trip? Instead of the normal position, turn around and have some fun from behind. Talk about kinky fantasies!
Word of caution: Zip the bag properly, you don't want end up killing insects in the mid of the act.

10. On a plane: You can try the toilet and if that's too cramped, the seat in a Business or First class cabin. Some airliners with long-haul flights now boast of recliner seats that go as flat as a bed. Take a flight of fantasy.
Word of caution: Don't try it if you already have flight phobia and take care of people lining-up outside the loo. Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

Seducing the senses

You can touch my hair and kiss me everywhere... Does it sound too clichéd or rather boring way to seduce your partner? Are you tired of reading the

same old techniques of seduction?

Well, what about going back to the basics? And nothing can be more basic than the five senses - sense of sight, sense of smell, sense of taste, sense of hearing, sense of touch. These can really keep things sizzling hot during sex. Vatsayan would have definitely vouched for that! We get modern day experts to share more on it...

To keep the flames burning in your sex-life, you must fine-tune your seduction skills. With fingers busy, mouths, lips, tongues, noses, and eyes enticed, sensuousness will linger in every move to make you the most desirable man or woman of seduction.

Rita Gangwani, an etiquette expert, shares, "Sometimes we take the senses so much for granted that we don't really pay attention to them. Working to develop the five senses and focusing on them while making love, drawing attention to his/her sensuousness will not only enhance your own pleasure, but will give pleasure to your lover as well."

Dr. Sanjay Chugh, expert on sexual issues, says, "The seduction tips that one can employ also depends on 'overall' quality of the couple's relationship. If there is a healthy emotional and psychological bond between the two, the chances of a good sex life is high. And in case, if one incorporates a few out-of-the-box techniques, then it's definitely some icing on the cake!"

Psychiatrist Dr. Samir Parikh supports, "Couples need to keep trying to make things work for them but the key is not just trying new things, its more to be attuned to each others likes, fantasies and pleasures so that a mutually satisfying relationship could result. They can try various permutations and combinations of these seduction ways on their personalities."

On how these five senses work towards stimulating the libido of male/female partner, Dr. Parikh explains, "Most of these factors (senses) have an association in our mind, so they act as a conditioned stimulus, and can help creating the atmosphere. But the key would be the mutuality and the quality of the non-sexual life would have its direct impact on the sexual life."

Rita adds, "One must be aware to the fact that human body is bristling with sensory receptors - God's gift to humankind - it's up to us to responsibly enjoy it. One must give body the permission to celebrate what's inside; celebrate it with oneself, and with the partner. We must take time to really learn the subtle but very powerful art of seducing the opposite sex using all five senses."

These are simple yet extremely seductive ways.

SENSE OF SIGHT
It's an individual choice how you choose to decorate your bedroom but what's important here is to place care and attention on the location. Stuff like candles, silky bedding and lots of pillows and even hot lingerie can do wonders.

Expert view : This may not be possible all the time but can be reserved for those special occasions where one wants to feel and act different. Using rose petals and pillows as props can surely add to the fun!

SENSE OF SMELL
Aromatics and fragrances are the best mood setters however most of couples won't know how to make the most of it. Aromatics can work for you or against you, so make sure that you know which scents your partner enjoys. Scented candles incense or scented massage oil can excite your partner.

Expert view : Some smells/fragrances make you feel calm and relaxed and this contributes to one's state of mind while making love. A massage certainly tends to loosen you up and soothes your senses.

SENSE OF TASTE
Believe it or not, but food can be powerful aphrodisiacs. Try strawberries with whipped cream, grapes or edible lotions, chocolate syrups or honey.

Expert view : It is understood that aphrodisiacs tend to increase one's libido, desire for sex and set the right mood. Some would even reduce one's usual inhibitions and make you more comfortable, aroused and stimulated.

SENSE OF HEARING
Apart from whispering in ears and listening to your body while making love, other sounds and noises can also do the magic. Let your partner listen to an erotic story in the background pre-recorded in your voice or a romantic piece of music that fits the overall mood you are going for.

Expert view : The kind of noise, nature and type would be important, as a loud, disturbing, croaky cacophonous noise is definitely a turn off. However, some soothing, romantic music can surely get you in the naughty mood.

SENSE OF TOUCH
This happens to be the most erotic senses of all. You can add that extra sensation to this sense with silky bedding, lingerie, or even with oil massage. You may also try building up the mood with ice cube, feather, something furry or a rose bud.

Expert view : The entire human body is an erogenous zone - the neck, shoulders, arms, ear, lips...the list goes on and on! Exploring this zone and stroking it gently can certainly get your partner feel horny and increasingly passionate.

Here are some tips, suggested by the expert, to arouse your senses...

 

SIGHT
1. Move in front of the mirror, so the two of you get front-row seats for the evening show.

2. Make eye contact with each other and let each other know that you have a deep connection.

3. Porn is great, if your partner is game but do not overdo this and neither expect partner to perform like a porn star forcibly. Let it happen naturally.

4. Keep the lights soft and filtered, as too bright lighting can detract from the ambience.

5. You can even try doing a strip tease for each other on some romantic number.

SMELL
1. Pheromones, the perfume of sexual attraction (produced by your body naturally) can be a great turn-on but make sure your partner is comfortable with it.

2. Rose petals can either be stewed on the bed or you can take a sensual bath with rose petals in the tub. Other herbal aphrodisiacs like jasmine, rose and ylang ylang can also be tried.

3. Gently wipe your light bulbs with a thin coat of perfumed oil and it'll send calming or sensual scents throughout the bedroom.

4. Sprinkle dusting powder on your sheets to make them fragrant and silky. Scented sachets of lavender and rosemary also add to the air of romance.

5. Slightly menthol scented hygiene washes can be used to wash your body for that fresh tingly smell.

6. Use a mint or a mouth freshener before you kiss your partner.

TASTE
1. Get some sensual food items to bed like chocolate sauce, strawberries, grapes or whipped cream to explore the world of sexy tastes.

2. Bring a few flavored warming massage oils that come in multiple flavors like strawberry, cherry and banana. These sexy oils not only create heat and lubrication, they taste good, too!

3. Hand-feed each other fruits with curious textures, like pomegranates or lychees. The sugar and unique feel of the fruit on her lips and tongue can serve up an arousing double shot of pleasure.

4. Drink champagne from sexy champagne glasses, caress the long stem and lick each other's lips - this is mind blowing too.

5. Edible underwear in different flavors can also be experimented with.

SOUND
1. Play some slow, romantic music to get your partner in the mood for a long night of sex.
Be vocal. Moan when he/she hits the right spots during the act. These sounds boost up arousal.

2. Give him/ her little auditory arousal with some hot compliments. Do dirty talk and tell each other what you would like to do to them.

3. Try enacting a fantasy character and talk like him/ her - a fantasy lover, film star, or characters like doctor, nurse etc... just go crazy with the imagination.

4. If it's noisy outside your bedroom window, hang thick curtains to muffle the sound. Keep distractions such as the television in another room.

5. Please recheck that your bed does not make squeaky sounds.

TOUCH
1. Make your room romantic and as cosy as possible by maintaining the right temperature, as per the season.

2. Put silky/ satiny sheets on the bed, which will make the bed look instantly ready for sex. Real key is a comfortable mattress, so make sure that it's neither too hard nor too soft.

3. Hold an ice cube in your palm and as it melts, drip it down his/her abdomen.

4. A foot massage can trigger the nerves that connect with the genitals.

5. Stroke each other's hair and to further arouse this, give each other a back massage. Use feather, flowers, and petals to stroke the body and send shivers down the spine.

6. Lick each others trigger zones and breathe on the neck and ears. Blind fold your partner with silk scarf and let the game start.

Source:timesofindia.indiatimes.com

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