Feng Shui for love!

Going through a rough patch in your marriage? Is passionate love-making a thing of the past? Are arguments and bickering ruining the romance?

Losing interest in your partner? In short, is marriage is no longer blissful?

If your answer is a 'yes' for even two of the above mentioned questions, your relationship definitely needs help! The Chinese art of Feng Shui can be a practical solution to bring back the much needed zing, fizz and passion to your love life.

But, what is Feng Shui and how different is it from Vaastu Shastra? Answers, expert Bhavesh Patni of the Ganesha Speaks team, "Feng Shui provides remedial measures by rectifying the flow of air and water in an already constructed home with an aim to improve the presence of chi (positive energy). Vaastu Shastra, on the other hand, provides solutions by making physical changes at the construction level in your home."

G. Kennedy of Astroyogi team considers Feng Shui as a star-pacifier which tones down the ill-effects of stars and planets in our life, "We make people understand that no one can change their destiny. If a relationship is bound to come to an end, it will. However, Feng Shui can lessen the impact of the planetary movements, which usually create circumstances of arguments, fights and divorce. Though it does not cure your karmic problems completely, it can definitely lessen them by promoting communication, love and passion between the partners and rooting out any negative energy from your house."

Feng Shui expert Ritu Kapoor elucidates the significance of positive energy in making or marring your relationship, "A positively charged Feng Shui bedroom bears a perfect balance of yin (female energy), yang (male energy), natural elements and colours ensuring a cordial flow of sensual energies between both partners."

A cordial relationship between partners includes a lot more than just compatibility. Stressful lifestyles, lack of proper sleep, sexual incompetence and fertility issues also sometimes take a marriage to a dead end.

It's then that Feng Shui comes with its corrective measures, chi boosting techniques and products to strengthen the love-energies in your home...and it may be as simple as moving your sofa or changing the colour of your walls!

 

Here are some basic Feng Shui tips to help you get back the lost action in your sex life:

Creating your love shrine: The South-west direction is considered to be an abode of love. It is the home of the Earth element

\which ensures stability and permanence - prerequisites for a healthy marital life. To improve one's sex life, Feng Shui energises this corner of your bedroom.

"The South-west area is an ideal place for all kinds of love-enhancement objects. Some of the most common objects to activate love and passion in this area include a pair of mandarin ducks, hearts, double happiness symbols and a double carp fish," suggests Kennedy of Astroyogi team.

For couples who argue often, keep three boulders (rocks) together in a South-westerly direction. Make a double happiness sign on them and tie them with a red ribbon to make the direction heavy with the Earth element and gain stability," adds Ritu.

Boost your sex drive: "If dwindling sex drive is the problem, place natural quartz crystals in pink (rose quartz) or a pyramid made of rose quartz on the bed. Conch or sea shells in pink quartz or simple natural conch/ sea shells on the bed side improves a woman's sex drive," suggests Ritu.
"Cicadas are a potent symbol of fertility. Couples who are trying to conceive should definitely have an image of the cicada in their bedroom," recommends Kennedy.

Water's a total taboo: As per the rules of Feng Shui, having water in your love zone fills your life with dead energy. Water and all kinds of water related objects including water beds, fountains, and pictures of water falls should be kept away from your bedroom.

Another area of concern is the bathroom. The bathroom and particularly the toilet are major 'chi suckers.' Make sure your bathroom does not face a South-west direction. If so, hanging a wind chime can tone down negative effects. Keep the toilet lid down and the bathroom door closed.

 

Bed basics: To keep things cosy between couples, avoid a king-sized bed. This is worse than sleeping in separate beds. "According to Feng shui principles, it prevents a couple from sharing the same energy. A queen sized bed will keep you in contact

and loving means touch. Contact brings intimacy," suggests Kennedy.

"If the headboard of your bed is placed against a window, it will give you very little support in life from your lover. If you can't relocate your bed, simply place a decorative screen between the headboard and the window or hang heavy drapes to cover up the window at night," adds Kennedy.

Colour wise: "Feng Shui recommends quiet (yin) and calming neutral colours for the bedroom, including yellow, white, grey, beige and brown, as well as sensual accent colours, like pink and peach on the walls, furniture and bed sheets. Though bright red (yang) or bright pinks are meant to bring passion to a relationship; they should be used in accordance with the elements active in that particular area," suggests Patni.

Living elements: As per Feng Shui, natural flowers, plants and living animals like fish in aquariums should be kept out of the bedroom, since they are the symbols of negative energy. And if you are thinking to give red roses to your beloved, Feng Shui warns you! Red roses with long stems and sharp thorns harm your relationship; go for pink roses, without thorns instead. Pink symbolises harmony and an open heart.

Electric energy: As for a television in the bedroom, a lot of Feng Shui masters are strictly against it. But, if you can't live without your TV-and-bed combo, cover your TV with a piece of cloth when it is not being used. "This will shut out the negative energy that they emit even in the still mode. But, we recommend keeping all those electronic gadgets away from your love area, especially where you place your head" says, Patni.

Let the chi flow: Since Feng Shui is all about the balance between the yin (female energy) and the yang (male energy). Make sure you have enough open space on either side of your bed. Also, keep your bedroom neat, airy and uncluttered to let the chi meander freely in your sleeping quarters and dispel the stagnant chi that causes health and money-related problems. Soft-edged chairs and curvy furniture sans any sharp edges also promote the flow of chi.

Last but not the least, maintain a positive attitude and be open to the possibilities of Feng Shui. Don't be afraid to make the physical changes and let the cosmos bring love to you. And remember, the only way to get the best of sex is to love your partner, so never miss a chance to say 'I love you!' and see the magic. Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

Dealing with a flirtatious partner

There are only two ways to deal with your partner's roving eye – grit your teeth and ignore it. Or announce 'finito'!

Flirting, unfortunately, is a relationship hazard most of us have had to put up with. While love gurus claim a little bit of 'exploration' keeps the spark alive, you need to ensure that the spark doesn't burn the relationship dead. Readers reveal the tricks of walking the tightrope.

Uday Prakash
HNI relationship manager in an insurance firm
Men can get as affected as women when it comes to flirting. I have a simple funda: don't let it hang if it bothers you. Don't create a scene or be nasty; just face it head on.
Once, I was out with my girlfriend at a bar. She was hugging me and suddenly I noticed her eyeing a group of guys. I immediately confronted her. It worked – she stopped!
Harmless flirting is ok. But watch out for the danger signals; like when words graduate to touching! That's when you need to be on your guard.

Sanghmitra Sahay
Sales and marketing professional

To gain control over your man, loosen some control. Of course, it is disconcerting to see your partner cosy up to others. But handle the matter with dignity, instead of getting perturbed. Never ever spy on him; instead, be calm and cool and let him explain.
If a girl tries to get overfriendly with my husband, I ignore it. If it doesn't work, I try to strike up a rapport with her and even tease him about it!
It doesn't mean you let your guard down too much. You can always gauge how serious a flirtation is. But don't overreact.

Flirt-o-meter
Tips on how to deal with a flirtatious partner
- Focus on the reasons behind his/ her flirting. Get in touch with your own self confidence to prevent insecurity
- Being attracted to other people does not necessarily mean that your partner wants to cheat on you with all of them. Your lover might simply acknowledge the good looks and stop at that point
- If the flirting truly bothers you, then be upfront about it. Have an honest discussion instead of just getting angry and bottling up your feelings Source:timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Fwd: Sex Guide for over-sized people

It's time to shed all inhibitions and try these trouble-free tips that help you reinstate that lost bedroom action...

Dress to kill : If the problem with the man is arousal rather than erection, the lady can use her dressing style and sex appeal to add the punch. An element of mystery always excites men. So, so opt for some enticing lingerie and make undressing more pleasurable.

Dr. Shivi Jaggi, supports, "Sexual clothing matters a lot for the partner's arousal. Oversize people are extra careful in their choices and opt for outfits that make them look slimmer. Also, it pays to know your partner's choice and then wear something you know he/she would love to see you in. Women can play around with sexy attires and attractive intimates, so that the anxiety of taking them off, even with a not-so-flattering body disappears."

Take charge : Woo your man with a newfound confidence and forget being an odd lump-bump. Surprise him by initiating the action. Dr. Jaggi elaborates, "Even in a married couple, looks matter and physical appearance, at times, decides the rate of sexual pleasure. Obese women should forget their weighty inhibitions while making love. Don't shy away from being more active, taking charge, making naughty gestures, indulging in erotic fantasies or putting up a saucy strip show. All these acts will enhance your man's interest, hence shifting his focus away from your flabby body."

Dim the lights : There's nothing to feel conscious of your curves between the sheets, but still most obese people get goose bumps at the thought of their partner seeing them naked in loud lighting. Dr. Deepak Arora suggests, "We don't suggest to a couple that they turn the lights completely on or off during a sexual session, but rather create a dim lighting effect. It will not only add to the pleasure, but will also let you enjoy your partner's expressions."

Foreplay is important : Appetisers are always more delicious than the main course and when it comes to sex, foreplay is the main ingredient that can make up a perfect sex session. Be it thin or obese couples, foreplay should be as innovative as possible. "Couples should ideally spend the maximum time in foreplay with both partners participating equally. Good communication between partners becomes extremely crucial if either of the partners is overweight. Talking about weight issues openly helps in knowing your partner's likes and dislikes," suggests Dr. Arora.

Celebrate your curves : Curves can also make you look beautiful and remember that men don't necessarily like a skinny partner in bed. Use that popping flab to arouse your man. Belly dancing can be a really good option and it will also help you shed some calories.

Relationship counselor Geetanjali Sharma agrees, "Any form of dancing excites men and belly dance is one of the most sensuous acts that plus size women can opt for. Remember, men want their women to be active, aroused and free from apprehensions. So as long as you love your body and use it to tease your man, sexual pleasure will surely fall in place."

Be curvy in your thoughts : Let your partner know that all you care about is – 'having a good time in bed'. Don't let the excess flab come in the way of intimacy. Get comfortable in your mind and this will automatically reflect in your performance.

Geetanjali asserts, "Obese individuals are always shy and think about their partner's reactions towards their body, which affects their sexual life drastically. Rather concentrate more on things where you are better, such as being innovative in bed. Instead of focusing on your body, focus on your performance and sexual acts and have a positive mindset." Source:timesofindia.indiatimes